Recently the remote to my living room television went missing. Without going into mind numbing detail I will simply state that replacing it was going to be a complicated and pricey procedure that i was in no way looking forward to.
With my life as of late being more than a little chaotic my usual penchant for overorganization has been forced to be set aside for the moment. And after a week of all out search and rescue i had pretty much surrendered to the fact the remote was never to be seen or heard from again.
While my dining room until recently had been mascarading as an office it is now on its way back to becoming what it was always meant to be and tonight as i was moving my very large, cumbersome printer i felt something rattling around inside. This thing is large enough to house a small family of squirrels in itself massive ancient body so there was no telling what disaster lie within.
Opening the paper tray i discovered the prodigal remote. I can not for the life of me figure how in the world that thing made its way to being lodged in there. Its a total head scratcher.
Some current theories are:
1. Chuck Norris is threatened by my intimidating presence on the planet and snuck in under cover of night to hide it from me in an effort to drive me to the edge of insanity and weaken my powers.
2. A small army of alcoholic gnomes have moved in under my front porch and enjoy watching reruns of Days of Our Lives playing on the soap network while i sleep. Perhaps in their drunken state they mistook the paper tray for the drawer to the coffee table where the remote is USUALLY kept.
3.My brother Chris, currently residing in Kuwait and my brother Kent currently residing in Tennessee, somehow managed to unite once again and pull a good old fashioned prank on their sister as they did daily throughout most of my teenage years. If you think their long distance locations make this a difficult thing to accomplish then perhaps sometime i should tell you the TRUE story of the time they once managed to send me off on a first date wearing a coat lined with rotten eggrolls WITHOUT my knowing it.
This is of course only a preliminary list of possibilities and i am open to your theories on the matter. Any ameture slueths out there care to make a guess? I think we owe it to ourselves and the universe at large to solve this mystery.
Tags: Alcoholic Gnomes, Chuck Norris, Mystery, Printer, TV remote
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I believe you failed to follow the simple murphy’s law of “If something is lost it is always in the last place you look” thusly if we were to utilize our over-sized multi-hemispherial noodle noggins then we would instantly look in the most ill logical places as those would undoubtedly be the last places one would look…for example…one would never think to look for said clicker inside the vacuum stuck to the underside of the wheel well of their car so if you were to make a bee line right for the least logical place you could illogically think of would it not make its finding ever more logically likely? Murphy be damned I say!
Of course by the time I finished writing that little paragraph I had no idea what I was talking about so…that’s my contribution! YAY!
Thanks Jay, im pretty sure its safe to say Scotland Yard will not be recruiting you any time soon
Did i ever mention the time I lost a set of keys for two months in the vegetable freshener after a putting away the groceries mishap.
Okay Melissa, I knew they were bad about playing pranks, but I want to hear your eggroll story. Got to post that one. Some things just never change, Chris is still all about torturing people. LOL
Kim- I will have to write about that soon!